Kinda nervous today at noon....with all the job losses and furlough i'm pretty excited and nervous at the same time. I haven't interview for a long time, feely rusty. I'm just hoping not to get tongue-tied and don't rumble on and on. I want this promotion so bad which is about 30% bump an lead analyst/associate position.

I'm still in the state of shocked after being told this morning that one of our manager and who I personally worked for was murdered yesterday along with her husband. It's being called double homocide.

She was a very kind person and cared for people. We're just stunned and still can't believed this happened. We don't know who would do such a thing.

I just thought i'd share my emotions....i'm bummed

http://www.sacbee.com/101/story/1462237.html

I wasn't planning it all, but it just work out that way somehow. Last Monday I woke up very lethargic and sick. The next day was it a holiday. Wednesday was already scheduled day off to take care some personal matter. I came back to work Thursday but left to go home around 11 am feeling still "sucky" the entire morning. And Friday was the same so I stayed pretty home all week. The good news I still have about 140 hours of PTO. My boss will be out for 2 days next week. That's good so I can catch-up on my work without any disturbance.

This goes back about 8 years ago, when i worked for this state agency as a public finance analyst. From the 'get go' she never accepted me as part of her 'team'. I think the fact she wanted someone else didn't sit well. I worked on deals worth anywhere 30 to 300 million per bond deals. I don't even received "thank you" or "good job Lee" from her. While I get some 'accolades' from the other managers and even from outside agents like Lehman Brother or Merrill Lynch for doing a good job...I'd never heard her say 'nice things' about me not even a smile. All I get is a look. You know that look, like someone you hate 'look. I get that all the time. And sometimes to just to pissed me off further, she would give shitty assignments that any technician can do "auditing", or rearranged our bond files. I'm not against this work I'm not good doing auditing work and its not even part of my job description. I do it just to make her happy. Otherwise me and her would get the "talk" like "Oh Lee your are not being a team player". So i would just try to brush it off like whatever. Then she complains how come I don't get enough "billing time" for our clients". Then my reply: "what are you talking about...you got me doing auditing working 16 hours a day and on weekends That's why!" At the same time, my other work 'piles up' for days. Then I get behind and try to catch up by working more OT and on weekends at Starbucks. I could never appeased her whatsoever. Sometimes she would make comments like why did you leave your old job, or why are you here" or "you're not working hard enough". Many times she would asked me to reply on an email request that I have no clue or I'm not even part of. Sometimes, she'll tell me "your supposed to be on this meeting" when i know I'm not cuz it's not even my deal or in outlook calendar. If its not my deal or in my calendar i don't attend. Long story short, i quit after 12 months of hell.

But guess what, I now see her working in the same company as I am. Few times, we passed each other in the hallway, its very awkward to say the least. So I don't pretend to see her and try not to make any eye contact. But you know...the animosity is still there. My coworkers tells me you should bury the hatch it...sure if I don't see her. But occassionally I see her which is what triggers the whole thing.