This goes back about 8 years ago, when i worked for this state agency as a public finance analyst. From the 'get go' she never accepted me as part of her 'team'. I think the fact she wanted someone else didn't sit well. I worked on deals worth anywhere 30 to 300 million per bond deals. I don't even received "thank you" or "good job Lee" from her. While I get some 'accolades' from the other managers and even from outside agents like Lehman Brother or Merrill Lynch for doing a good job...I'd never heard her say 'nice things' about me not even a smile. All I get is a look. You know that look, like someone you hate 'look. I get that all the time. And sometimes to just to pissed me off further, she would give shitty assignments that any technician can do "auditing", or rearranged our bond files. I'm not against this work I'm not good doing auditing work and its not even part of my job description. I do it just to make her happy. Otherwise me and her would get the "talk" like "Oh Lee your are not being a team player". So i would just try to brush it off like whatever. Then she complains how come I don't get enough "billing time" for our clients". Then my reply: "what are you talking about...you got me doing auditing working 16 hours a day and on weekends That's why!" At the same time, my other work 'piles up' for days. Then I get behind and try to catch up by working more OT and on weekends at Starbucks. I could never appeased her whatsoever. Sometimes she would make comments like why did you leave your old job, or why are you here" or "you're not working hard enough". Many times she would asked me to reply on an email request that I have no clue or I'm not even part of. Sometimes, she'll tell me "your supposed to be on this meeting" when i know I'm not cuz it's not even my deal or in outlook calendar. If its not my deal or in my calendar i don't attend. Long story short, i quit after 12 months of hell.
But guess what, I now see her working in the same company as I am. Few times, we passed each other in the hallway, its very awkward to say the least. So I don't pretend to see her and try not to make any eye contact. But you know...the animosity is still there. My coworkers tells me you should bury the hatch it...sure if I don't see her. But occassionally I see her which is what triggers the whole thing.
Can't stand to see my 'Old Boss' again
June 11th, 2008 at 04:49 pm
June 11th, 2008 at 06:08 pm 1213204134
It is probably one of the hardest things to do, but you definitely want to be professional and not editorialize your feelings. What people will see is a person how can thrive regardless of the team or the people involved.
I had a boss that would curse at me, yell at me in meetings, insult me, etc. In the company, I used to work for; she had a reputation of erratic behavior. I knew every meeting was going to be battle. Well, I decided that she should not dictate my behavior.
So, I taped to my monitor “Calm, objective, professional”. When she would call me on the phone, I would focus on these words. Before a meeting, I would focus on these words. This is how I wanted to be perceived at the firm.
At first, it just lowered my stress because I won’t fall into her games. I would stay calm and professional no matter how much she yelled and berated me.
Well fast forward, Boston is a small town and in finance everyone knows everyone, just the nature of the beast. I have since become a consultant and the way you get jobs is via your reputation. My reputation - Calm, objective, and professional.
By the way, I still tape up words to my monitor about behavior I want to exhibit but have trouble with. Current word – Listen. I usually jump ahead and really need to pause and listen more to what people are saying.
Good luck.
June 11th, 2008 at 08:32 pm 1213212723
June 12th, 2008 at 03:19 am 1213237147
June 12th, 2008 at 04:19 am 1213240759
I agree with the "calm, collected and professional" advice, but I would also add that, unfortunately, you will have to watch your back and keep an ear out for any gossip. Bullies tend to pick their targets and you've been selected once, so you are primed to be selected again. Definitely cultivate good relationships with your boss and your immediate co workers. I wouldn't bury the hatchet, just let it lie and make sure that it doesn't get shined and sharpened.
June 12th, 2008 at 08:21 pm 1213298476