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Home > Can't stand to see my 'Old Boss' again

Can't stand to see my 'Old Boss' again

June 11th, 2008 at 08:49 am

This goes back about 8 years ago, when i worked for this state agency as a public finance analyst. From the 'get go' she never accepted me as part of her 'team'. I think the fact she wanted someone else didn't sit well. I worked on deals worth anywhere 30 to 300 million per bond deals. I don't even received "thank you" or "good job Lee" from her. While I get some 'accolades' from the other managers and even from outside agents like Lehman Brother or Merrill Lynch for doing a good job...I'd never heard her say 'nice things' about me not even a smile. All I get is a look. You know that look, like someone you hate 'look. I get that all the time. And sometimes to just to pissed me off further, she would give shitty assignments that any technician can do "auditing", or rearranged our bond files. I'm not against this work I'm not good doing auditing work and its not even part of my job description. I do it just to make her happy. Otherwise me and her would get the "talk" like "Oh Lee your are not being a team player". So i would just try to brush it off like whatever. Then she complains how come I don't get enough "billing time" for our clients". Then my reply: "what are you talking about...you got me doing auditing working 16 hours a day and on weekends That's why!" At the same time, my other work 'piles up' for days. Then I get behind and try to catch up by working more OT and on weekends at Starbucks. I could never appeased her whatsoever. Sometimes she would make comments like why did you leave your old job, or why are you here" or "you're not working hard enough". Many times she would asked me to reply on an email request that I have no clue or I'm not even part of. Sometimes, she'll tell me "your supposed to be on this meeting" when i know I'm not cuz it's not even my deal or in outlook calendar. If its not my deal or in my calendar i don't attend. Long story short, i quit after 12 months of hell.

But guess what, I now see her working in the same company as I am. Few times, we passed each other in the hallway, its very awkward to say the least. So I don't pretend to see her and try not to make any eye contact. But you know...the animosity is still there. My coworkers tells me you should bury the hatch it...sure if I don't see her. But occassionally I see her which is what triggers the whole thing.

5 Responses to “Can't stand to see my 'Old Boss' again”

  1. merch Says:

    My advice is to be cordial. That’s it. I know, easier said then done. The big thing is that you don’t want your image or reputation to be tarnished. As they say, you want to rise above the fray.

    It is probably one of the hardest things to do, but you definitely want to be professional and not editorialize your feelings. What people will see is a person how can thrive regardless of the team or the people involved.

    I had a boss that would curse at me, yell at me in meetings, insult me, etc. In the company, I used to work for; she had a reputation of erratic behavior. I knew every meeting was going to be battle. Well, I decided that she should not dictate my behavior.

    So, I taped to my monitor “Calm, objective, professional”. When she would call me on the phone, I would focus on these words. Before a meeting, I would focus on these words. This is how I wanted to be perceived at the firm.

    At first, it just lowered my stress because I won’t fall into her games. I would stay calm and professional no matter how much she yelled and berated me.

    Well fast forward, Boston is a small town and in finance everyone knows everyone, just the nature of the beast. I have since become a consultant and the way you get jobs is via your reputation. My reputation - Calm, objective, and professional.

    By the way, I still tape up words to my monitor about behavior I want to exhibit but have trouble with. Current word – Listen. I usually jump ahead and really need to pause and listen more to what people are saying.

    Good luck.

  2. tripods68 Says:

    Thanks for the advice. Nowithstanding that pretty what I plan in doing, "calm, collected, and professional".

  3. HelpMeFriend Says:

    You've been there longer, so maybe you are above her now. You could speak to your boss, stating she is bringing back a previous work experience and making you uncomfortable. It sounds like you are. He/She is more likely to be thankful for all you do for the company and see her newness as a glitch in the system that is working well already.

  4. baselle Says:

    It sounds like you dealt with quite the bully in your previous job. I was bullied myself long ago and it was not a pleasant experience.

    I agree with the "calm, collected and professional" advice, but I would also add that, unfortunately, you will have to watch your back and keep an ear out for any gossip. Bullies tend to pick their targets and you've been selected once, so you are primed to be selected again. Definitely cultivate good relationships with your boss and your immediate co workers. I wouldn't bury the hatchet, just let it lie and make sure that it doesn't get shined and sharpened.

  5. tripods68 Says:

    She doesn't work in the same unit as I am. She works in Private Equity in Real Estate. I worked in Public Retirement Pension. So no we don't have to see each "thank god". She was definitely a bully but she did it "ninja" like stealth. But you know, I got to keep things in perspective. Thank god, she is not a manager any longer, otherwise, if someone asked me how she was a manager, then I can't lie. I have to tell the truthSmile That would be my payback then. She's an "analyst" like me, except she gets paid a little more $$ cuz she in Real Estate Unit which by the way has been hammered for the past 2 years. Somehow every Unit or Department here has this "bravado" or "'Old boys" network, Oh yah! What you're working on. Public Retirement is boring (but I like itSmile) compared to our Trading desk Unit, or Private Equity, Corporate Governance, or Global Investment those guys travel all over the world plus they get year-end bonus like crazy. I'm not complaining though. All I can do is better interview next time when they have openings. CFA designation does not hurt but it will take me another 5 years to complete that or perhaps never. I just have to avoid her Unit if i do.

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